Aisha’s dream was never complicated. It was simply this: to feel well. For a long time, panic attacks, anger she couldn’t explain, and a fear she was “going crazy” made even ordinary life feel out of reach. Today, she is back in her library, back with her family, and back to studying for the future she wants.
I am the youngest in my family. Before all this started, I didn’t have any particular hobbies, though I have always loved reading, novels especially. Stories lift my mood. Some of my favourite memories are the time I’ve spent with my cousin, and my mother has always been the person I feel closest to. She is very supportive, and I am very friendly with her.
The first signs that something was wrong were sudden bursts of anger. I didn’t always know what I was doing in those moments, or who I might be hurting. Alongside that came shivering, panic attacks, and constant overthinking. There wasn’t one specific reason behind it. It was a mix of things: some issues at home, some family matters, some things that were just personal to me.
It affected almost everything. I couldn’t socialise. I stopped attending family events and gatherings. I found it hard to talk to my parents or even sit with my siblings. My studies suffered too. Before I came to MSF, I hadn’t tried to reach out to anyone about it.
Deciding to ask for help
Things reached a point where I had frequent panic attacks and started to think I was going crazy. That was when I decided I needed to seek help. I heard about MSF through a friend who was already coming for support herself.
Convincing my parents to let me go wasn’t easy. In our society, when you tell people you’re going to MSF for counselling, it can feel like a difficult thing to admit. My parents reacted the way most people do at first. But I kept trying, and eventually I convinced them.
My first experience at MSF was a good one. I was able to share what was actually happening to me, properly, for the first time, and it felt like a relief.
Coming out of it, step by step
By my third or fourth session, I began to feel like I was coming out of it. I was opening up to my counsellor and getting real help. Before that, I hadn’t been going anywhere, not even to study. Once counselling started, that began to change. I started going back to my library. I started opening up to my parents again. I became able to sit with my siblings.
Before counselling, I honestly believed I would never recover, that I would stay the way I was forever. Seeing real improvement in myself, session by session, showed me that wasn’t true. I also gained something I hadn’t had before: the confidence to be around people again. I used to be afraid of that. That fear is gone now.
My counsellor gave me exercises to practise between sessions, and I try to do them. I remind myself that I am fine, that there’s nothing to worry about. Of everything I’ve learned, deep breathing has helped me the most, especially during a panic attack.
What I believe about mental health now
I believe we should never ignore our mental health. We can see when something is wrong with us physically, but mental health is just as significant, maybe more so. When it’s right, I think a person is genuinely fine in every other way too.
My family has changed a great deal because of this journey. My parents’ view of me has shifted completely. They tell me now that I am a good person, which is not something I always heard before.
On stigma, and standing your ground
If I could say one thing to reduce the stigma around this, it would be: come forward, and ask for help. Don’t let anyone tell you not to. Mental health matters, and the first step should always be reaching a psychiatrist or a counsellor, regardless of what people around you might think.
My family didn’t support me at first either. But I knew my own condition, and I knew what I was going through, and I held my ground. Over time, their view of me changed completely. I believe the same can happen at the level of a whole community: people simply need to stop measuring themselves against what others will say or think.
What I want now
I don’t want to go back to how things were. I want everything I went through to be firmly behind me, and I want to live my life well from here. Getting well has been my biggest dream since I was a child, and now, finally, I feel like I’m living it.
If I ever meet someone else who needs this kind of help, I will tell them my own story, so they can see for themselves that it’s possible. And to everyone who has helped me get here, my counsellor, my doctor, my psychiatrist, I want to say: thank you. I mean that very much.
